i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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