for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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