The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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