What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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