I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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