adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize