I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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