You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
