Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
