Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
