i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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