1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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