Your tits are I can't wait for
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
third nipple confirmed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
