i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I wear drunk well.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
