Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am naked and annoyed.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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