why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
