found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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