My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
