There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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