New invention idea: vibrating tampons
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize