Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
