did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
