You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
