well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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