having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's the barista slut.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
