then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
