like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
