Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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