with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
