No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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