No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
