he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
