dude i'm inner monologue high
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize