I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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