it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
