So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
