well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize