I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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