oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
