i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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