based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
