I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
