I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
