Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize