i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
