you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
