What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
