i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
