Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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