She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
