Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
