I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
