My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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