she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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