he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
