I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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