that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
