OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
