Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
