Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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