I looked at my own cervix.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
did i walk over a car last night?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
