look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
This is the high leading the old right now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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