If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
