There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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