Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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