how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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